The Fallout Shelter

Overview

The Fallout Shelter was a forum for random shenanigans used by numerous members of Epic, which featured Nick and Steve as admins. Failsafe Productions got its start here, and it's been the source of a few Epic memes as well, including the infamous "JUST ACCEPT THAT U WILL NEVER HALF THE MAN YOU MOM IS !!" line.

In October 2009, following the deletion of the forum used for Epic v2 and v3, Epic was hosted over on The Fallout Shelter for a few days until Nick set up the Epic v4 forum.

The Fallout Shelter died on 10 March 2012 when Steve got bored and gave everyone admin powers, allowing one person to shut down the forum. It was reopened shortly after, but most of its topics were lost, and it remained a near-inactive shell of its former self.

Half The Man You Mom Is

In March of 2010, a long-time member of TFS named Linken posted talking about his current life, and how his girlfriend of the past year, Chloe, dumped him. Linken explained it as follows:

• "My job has also rendered me mentally incapable of focusing on anything intently, aside from the food. Oh but it wasn't always like that. See, I was ALSO capable of giving my girlfriend attention. As much attention as I possibly could, even if it was only for two hours a day, 5 out of 7 days a week, the other 2 spent giving MORE attention to her, one of which I spent my whole day doing so. However, she dumped me after going out with me for almost a year. Why? Because she decided that the relationship wasn't making her happy."

Steve soon responded with the following:

• "What? Chloe dumped you? Chloe "Hold on nigs can we put the game off for a few minutes 'cause I gotta talk to Chloe but I really mean two hours" dumped you? The fuck is up with her? You always broke bros before hos for her. And then she gives some reason like that? The hell is her problem."

Things kicked into motion when less than an hour later, Chloe herself signed up on TFS to explain her side of the story:

• "Hey, maybe u should tell them the whole story? Or u could also tell them how i wanted to be with u and said i didnt want to break up with you if we could make things better. Did u also mention how in this whole relationship u have called me a filthy gutter whore? Or other horrible names, i have been going in and out of school crying everyday because u refuse to speak to me the way i deserve to be treated. You act as though i didnt care about you at all, but in the reality of it all mike, i tried to get us back together, i even said lets start over and to make u happy i even said we didnt have to start over the dates. but what did i get "Oh great i wasted a whole year of my life" And what does that tell me? Everything. So dont be acting like u are the innocent one here michael. We both made bad choices, and i am grateful for us and what was of us. And who ever is above me maybe u should try to not call people hos, and realize that he was ditching u as well. he said it himself he didnt care enough to go on the computer to talk to u guys. So own up to ur actions mike, it isnt all my fault i have been hurting for 2 months now CRYING TO U TO CARE ABOUT ME MORE! and okay u call me? that doesnt mean anything if ur just on the phone with me giving me attitude, so buddy, i tried and u cant tell me i didnt. And if u would like u say anything else, grow up and man up and email me or call me, good bye. "

The members of TFS were less than impressed. Mettic's reaction arguably summed things up the best:

• "Linken's post before mentions that he's been working desperately on his job probably for a good reason and that he's been trying to put the rest of his time on you.
  "HE DOESN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH ATTENTIONNNNNN"
  (Unimpressed Spiderman reaction image)
  I don't like you"

Following a few more posts of people equally unswayed by Chloe's explanation, a new account posted in the thread, either a friend of Chloe's named Mike, or a sockpuppet account of hers pretending to be her friend:

• U KNOW WHAT FUCK ALL YA !!
  CHOLE IS AN AMAZING GIRL !!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW Y U GUYS ARE HATTING ON HER FOR NO FUCKING REASON !!! GET A LIFE !!
  I DON'T EVEN KNOW Y I'M WASTING MY TIMES ON durrhurrS LIKE ALL YA !"
  • (For clarity, durrhurrs was TFS' wordfilter in action.)

Another friend of Chloe's (Josie) posted after this. However, Josie was actually a reasonable person, and people were okay with her, while having a laugh at Mike. When Mike failed to change anyone's mind, he posted again:

• "YO MAN ! JUST DROP IT !!
  JUST ACCEPT THAT U WILL NEVER HALF THE MAN YOU MOM IS !!
  JUST STOP HATTING AND MOVE ON MAN !!
  SUCH A HATER !!!"

This was immediately followed up by bafflement at "half the man you mom is". Chloe seemed to be upset that people were still "hatting", and posted the following:

• "You guys are such durrhurrs What there are about like 6 of u on here. I could get at least at least 60 people on here cursing u durrhurrs out. In fact i can get this whole site shut down because of this. all of you really need to grow the fuck up and get your own fucking lives. And if any of you actually have girlfriends in which i doubt You probably treat them like shit. Lol i dont know why they would want to be with a guy that spends his day bullying some girl they dont even know."

Samuel La Croix had this to say:

• "Holy shit. You're threatening to shut down a forum with your crushing popularity after dumping a guy, and say we have no lives."

Much laughter was had, Nick in particular amused that she was "threatening to get 60 people wounding our virgin ears with CURSE WORDS". Chloe's comeback?:

• "you all are hoes?"
  • (Nick: "Just to pay the bills.")

At this point, even Josie was getting a bit tired of Chloe:

• "Chloe, whilst i love you and want to be able to take your side, youre being ridiculous takling about getting the forum shut down."

All said and done, the thread was archived and went down as one of TFS's most amusingly insane moments. But before it was locked, Mike returned with one last thing to say to close out the thread:

• "omg if u wanna a good come back whip it off ur mother's face !"

And so ended the tale of Chloe and the 60 People Cursing Durrhurrs.