The August Games (New Epic)
| |
| Name | The August Games |
|---|---|
| Dates Held | 24 to 26 October 2318 |
| Location | United Provinces |
| Winner | Ganchi Hiaba |
| Runner-Up | Kasch Blackwood |
| Held By | None, information by Tyler and Bishop |
The August Games
The August Games were a fighting tournament held from 24 to 26 October 2318 in New Epic. They were highly popular, with the DVD collection of the tournament being a popular purchase for the next year.
The full-sized version of the tournament bracket can be found here.
An alternate version happened in Old Epic, viewable here. The New Epic version was not actually held in the game itself, as Epic was still set in Old Epic at the time. However, the differences are notable for lore.
Entrants
- Robert Narrator
- Ganchi Hiaba
- Shaun White
- Cail Milons
- Harvey Moiseiwitsch Volodarskii
- Justin
- Omorius Dalziel
- Kasch Blackwood
- Iron Lung Khranis
- Alfred
- Tony Hawk
- Seth the Retarded Investor
- Francois
- Little Girl from Vagrant Blood
- Herk Tertaga Herk
- Annelise Edith
Preliminaries (1 to 6)
Shaun White vs. Tony Hawk
Winner: Tony Hawk
After a flashy entrance by The Hawk, the match begins as he performs a kickflip. Shaun White counters this by exploding the half pipe that Hawk entered on by bringing color to it through acid trip skateboarding. Displeased, the Hawk busts out The 900 for the first time in the tournament, tearing up Shaun White and teaching him that there's only one video game skateboarding hero.
Omorius Dalziel vs. Herk Tertaga Herk
Winner: Omorius
DESCRIPTION TO COME
Harvey Volodarskii vs. Francois
Winner: Harvey
Harvey spins his blades at the overly patriotic Frenchman right from the start, causing Francois to put up a feeble defense out of fear. Declaring to show her France's might, he brings down his wooden sword on Harvey's head. This fails miserably, as the sword breaks in two. Out of other options, he punches him in the face instead. Harvey responded by retraining him with chains and using a saw blade, decapitating him.
Kasch Blackwood vs. Annelise Edith
Winner: Kasch
Being sexist and thinking women shouldn't be warriors, Kasch refused to fight Auria's lovely mother at first. Finding this amusing, she punches him in the face with love. He kneed her in the chest to drive her off and then pointed his blade at her head, requesting that she forfeit, as he did not want to have to hurt a woman. She tells him that he should forfeit to her instead, so he cuts her up. Annelise finds herself horrified that he hasn't given up and strikes him with another series of sexy punches. During this, he manages to impale her, clearly killing her.
Robert Narrator vs. Iron Lung Khranis
Winner: Narrator
DESCRIPTION TO COME
Ganchi Hiaba vs. Alfred
Winner: Ganchi
Fan-favourite Alfred began the fight with his famed Alfred Shot technique, consisting of shooting his gun. However, he forgot to load it before the match and instead just punched Ganchi's face with his skull. Ganchi hits him away with the broad side of his sword. He unleashes an Alfred Kick on Ganchi, spinning through the air and slamming the man's face with his foot. Ganchi slams him hard with his sword once more, somehow breaking his neck with it and killing him.
Unheld Preliminaries (7 & 8)
Justin vs. Little Girl
Winner: Little Girl (By Disqualification)
Justin was thankfully disqualified before his match started, and the Little Girl won by default.
Cail Milons vs. Seth the Retarded Investor
Winner: Seth the Retarded Investor (By Disqualification)
Cail never showed up for his match before the start of the Quarter-Finals, so Seth was awarded the win by default. Cail later blamed this on a hangover and sleeping through his match.
Quarter-Finals
Harvey Volodarskii vs. Little Girl
Winner: Harvey
Harvey started off by slashing at the girl with his blade. The girl died instantly.
Robert Narrator vs. Ganchi Hiaba
Winner: Ganchi
DESCRIPTION TO COME
Tony Hawk vs. Seth the Retarded Investor
Winner: Tony Hawk
Performs some tricks for a minute or so on a new half pipe while Seth checks his stocks. Seth pulls a giant fax machine out of his briefcase and hurled it at Hawk. The Hawk kicks him in face while doing an Airwalk, and then tosses his skateboard at Seth, which he swats off with his shoe. Hawk then starts grinding on the edge of the half pipe.
Seth hits Hawk again with the fax machine and informs him that his loan's interest rate went up. This physically harmed The Hawk. Worried, Hawk brought Hawk merchandise stock prices back up by using some product placement while doing a Nightmare Flip onto Seth's head, taking him down. Someone from the stands then yells down to Seth that INT-TEL went down by 3000% when the market closed. Horrified, Seth then bashed his own skull in with the oversized fax machine. As the only one left, Hawk is declared the winner.
Omorius Dalziel vs. Kasch Blackwood
Winner: Kasch
DESCRIPTION TO COME
Semi-Finals
Ganchi Hiaba vs. Tony Hawk
Winner: Ganchi
DESCRIPTION TO COME
Harvey Volodarskii vs. Kasch
Winner: Kasch
DESCRIPTION TO COME
Final Round
Ganchi Hiaba vs. Kasch Blackwood
Winner: Ganchi (By Disqualification)
In a shocking twist, Kasch Blackwood did not show up for the final round, as he had left for Earth to obtain a legendary sword. Therefore, after much deliberation by those hosting the tournament, the win was awarded to Ganchi Hiaba.
